"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
