Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
