I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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