I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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