I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
