Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
