Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
