But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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