It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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