never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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