awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
