I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
