I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
