i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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