Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
