I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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