Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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