I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
