Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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