I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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