I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That accounts for only three of the penises
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
