did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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