Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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