My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
