My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
