i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
