And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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