My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
