So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
