Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You took a bar mat shot.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
