I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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