Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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