I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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