he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
