I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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