This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
