my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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