Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
