Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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