But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
