new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
