Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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