i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
