some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
