I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am full of burrito and curiosity
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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