i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
