I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
