idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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