She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she told me i tasted like america
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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