i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
