when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
