Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
