lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
