We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
