i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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